Initiative

Strangely, one of the directors who was the most matronly among the directors, perhaps due to her senority and her constant interaction with her four beautiful daughters, would sometimes stopped by during lunch for chit-chats. I was usually the lone fighter during lunch as I believed it working through lunch so as to be able to go home earlier.

Maybe it was out of pity and to keep me company, so sometimes she would stop by my workstation to talk to me. Being a friendly and easy-going person, she can share alot of advice from her wealth of experience. My 'single' status is also one of her concerns. She shares with me some tips that she thinks will help me snare the dream guy. She says that sometimes both parties need to give each other a chance and one must take initiative. Taking the initiative is the first chance to know each other better and friendship to blossom.

I share the same statement later with Ah Peng. She holds a completely different opinion. She thinks that if the male friend holds a torch for the female friend, he will definitely has alot of initiative. Well, she also has a point.

My view is that many Singapore guys are in general a very shy bunch of guys and with especially thin skin. Many guys are also generally very laid back and take things rather easily. In fact, many success stories among my friends are of my female friends taking the first steps. Some are more successful than the others. My female friends generally take a more light-hearted approach. When their initiatives are being rebuffed, they will just share it with other friends and get other consolation before we move on. For the successful ones, good for them.

Yes, to certain extent, it is true that usually guys will take the first steps if they are interested to know the girls better. However, I observe that the shy guys in Singapore will usually take a bolder move if they feel that the feelings are mutual. Hence, some of the girls need to drop usually rather apparent hints.

However, as contemporary and independent the girls are, we are still traditional at heart. Nothing flatters us more when the guys take on the first romantic gesture. Moreover, most girls are kind at heart. Even if we were to let the guys down, we will do it with the utmost diplomacy and as delicately as possible to minimise the bruising of the guys' feelings and egos. Even if the girls do like you enough to take the initiative, there is always a threshold to her patience and enthusiasm. If the guys continue to be so laid-back, the girls are not going to sit around forever waiting for you.

Hence, my advice to boys and girls out there. It does not matter if one of you take the initiative as someone will need to kick off this friendship. Guys, please do buck up if you wish to wish the heart of your favourite girl. Love waits for no one. Just as you let go when the girl does not reciprocate, so will the girl. Taking chance and initiative is the best move to win over the girl.