Spinster may sound derogatory. Bacholorette is too much of a euphemism and connotes too ideal or a rosy situation. My Queen depicted the life a single woman who has since passed her marriageable age, ie 30-year old and her attempt to fend off social pressure while seeking her ideals.
She was mistakenly preceived as an obnoxious workaholic by her colleagues. Her well-intentions often took an unforeseeable twist which resulted in some dire consequences. To survive and to excel, she had to disregard the preceptions of others so as to get her goals. After being so committed in her career pursuits for several years, she had built an armour of an aloof and even unscrupulous facade.
You may think this is sad. You may shake your head at her behaviour. I certainly can relate to her.
No matter how advanced we are in our society, we still steadfastly hold on to the ideals that all women should get married, have children and devote their lives to the caring of their family. Do not get me wrong, I agree to these ideals strongly. Yet, we never know what life has in store for us. Not everyone can realised this ideals or live out their lives in accordance to these ideals, by the drop of the hat.
Meanwhile, for those of us who have yet to attain this ideal, life still goes on. Without the comfort backing of a husband or the convenient excuse of juggling family and work, we can only strive to excel in work. It is both for survival and finding meaning in life. We need to ensure that we do well in work so that we can support ourselves financially because we do not have someone to share the financial load. We have to commit ourselves to work because success in work is the only yardstick for our meaning in life. We can never turn to having to tend to young babies as reasons for getting a bad appraisals. If we ever get bad appraisal, it is simply because we are lousy.
We have to be aggressive and independent. This is our weapons. No one will tend to us when we need help, so learning to help ourselves is the only choice. Do not suggest friends. Friends who have started their own families become distant faces that you only see during major celebrations or festivities. We have to be aggressive because there is not knights to fight of the dragons. Wake up. The best way to fight off dragons is to scare them away.
Work-life-balance? We have aplenty. Our routine involves going to work, work, and going home. Social calendar? More blanks than marks. Our battle at work to ensure we emerge as victors have left us drained. Moreover, our shrinking social circle only serves to exacerbate the situation.
Do not misunderstand. This is not self-pitying. Neither am I lamenting at my own circumstances. Granted this may sound more depressing than my original intent, but I am still a happy spinsters. Let's face it, I would rather enjoy my mundane life than to learn to live with an unsuitable spouse. Meanwhile, while I hold on to the hope that my soul mate is certainly somewhere out there, I will continue to luxuriate in my freedom.
- Confessions of a fellow Spinster
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