Utterly Embarrassed!

I never expected myself to join the ranks of those who were constantly featured in the forum or "snap-and-tell" websites for committing socially uncourteous acts.

In fact, I often show black faces to those who pretend to be busy or asleep when a person in need of a seat stands near. Shameful to say, I have not progressed beyond angry stares to telling these pretenders off directly yet. My black faces are of little help when these pretenders are pretending to be asleep. I always feel strongly that Singapore is still far from being a gracious society. Notwithstanding how small a part, we should all work towards being a more considerate and friendly country.

Yet, I never expect myself to behave so badly.

I was on the way home from class. I was lugging my laptop and my super thick file home for study and work. My arms nearly gave way from the weight of the thick file. My 'auntie' nature kicked in when I saw a young man getting up from his seat. I immediately moved ahead and sat down. I then flipped the file open to continue my revision for the test.

Strangely, the young man should be alighting soon, but he did not get off. Instead, he hovered near the seat somewhat lost. Only then I noticed that there was a more senior lady, probably in her sixties standing nearby. Apparently, the young man gave up his seat for her, but I was so engrossed in my revision moments before that I failed to notice the elderly lady. I was simply thankful to grab a seat at last.

Now that I was seated, I was caught in between. Should I stand up and give up this 'usurped' seat or should I just pretend that I have not noticed the old lady? The latter was the more morally and socially correct. However, I was too thin skinned and embarrassed and simply froze there. The young man sitting besides me and who was the travel companion of the first young man decided to give up his seat for the elderly lady. This saved me from further action, but without first making me feel like digging a hole there on the spot and bury myself.

To avoid further embarrassment, I kept my eyes glued to my file and refused to make any eye contact with the fellow passengers. I just hoped I would reach my destination soon and alight.