Have you ever felt revived from an extremely tough day after receiving some support that what you have done was correct? Have you ever felt consoled when someone stood on the same side of you after subjecting yourself to a series of scolding?
If yes, give me a high-five!!!
We need assurances to keep us going through the worst of times. Nah, the story is not about me, but it was about a colleague.
One of my line managers called me late in the evening to complain about his quarrel with another colleague. This line manager has worked quite closely with me. We often address each other as ‘brother’ and ‘sister’.
My mobile rang.
Brother: Harlow, Sister.
Me: Brother, so free today to call me ah?
Brother: Today very jialat. Last night, worse. I had a huge row with another team.
My interest was piqued instantly because he used to be quite good-natured.
Me: What happened?
Brother: I don’t know if I am stupid or what. When I went in to the meeting to discuss the case, the speaker launched into this concept which I did not understand. The whole room understood, except me. My maths cannot be that bad, right?
Me: Then you never ask another attendee who understand to explain in their words? Perhaps paraphrasing helps?
Brother: I did. Then 2 people helped to explain again but I still don’t understand. Tell me, if I want to go from a NPV of -$2M to -$1M, I must increase the revenue, right?
Me: Yup.
Brother: The rest kept insisting we can drop the revenue.
Me: Of course not. Unless they are talking about NPV of $2M to $1M, without the negative sign, then yes.
Brother: No. They were definitely talking about NPV of -$2M to -$1M. Anyway, the boss then came in and agreed with what I have explained, ie for the NPV to go from -$2M to -$1M, the revenue must be increased. So I told the speaker ‘See. This is what I have told you.’ The speaker got upset and then apologized very insincerely, like ‘Ok! I, apologized, ok?!’
Me: Then?
Brother: I got angry and the scolded him ‘Useless!’
At this stage, I could not contain myself anymore and burst into laughter. Hearing my laughter, he laughed along with me.
Brother: Anyway, when we got out of the meeting. One of my colleagues pulled me aside and told me that regardless of how genuinely stupid the speaker was, I should not be scolding him useless.
Me: Yup, we should not do personal attack.
Brother: So after I cooled down, I called the speaker to apologise for my harsh words and jio him for coffee.
Me: Wow.
Brother: Hey, your brother is steady one, ok?
Me: Yup, having the courage to apologise when you know you are in the wrong is good. Good for you.
Brother: Yup, thanks for supporting me. Must now get back to work.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So if someone calls you and complains a lousy day in future, do not be stingy with your assurances. Assuring the complainer that he or she has done absolutely right helps give them hope to trudge on. Of course, if you can throw in some encouragement, I am sure it will definitely provide greater motivation.
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