Losing My Cool ... Again

It was at one of the most critical moments. We needed to keep constantly updated on the latest budget numbers as numbers were changing by the minute with different moderations and stretches. He, being the coordinator of the business for total product, was someone I need to work closely with.

As numbers were changing by the seconds, I could understand that everyone is busy with his own updates, reports and coordinating. Yet, the means of contact could not be lost so that information was not miscommunicated nor stalled.

He and I shared the same working file. He kept sending me emails to tell me there was a difference in the template nos. Yet, he was hogging the file, so I could not enter the file for update. When I tried to reach him, so that he could exit the file for a short while to allow me for an update, he cut off all contacts. He refused to reply email. He switched off his mobile. On the few occasions when he switched on his mobile, he would cut-off the phone calls. He did not reply SMS. He did not pick up his deskphone. He was not at his desk. He seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

When I managed to locate his colleague who happened to be with him, I could not help but rant and rave at his colleague for his 'MIA' behaviour for the next 5 minutes. When I stopped myself to take a breath, his colleague coldly told me not to scream at her. I suddenly stopped and immediately felt guilty. I should not be shouting at his colleague who had done nothing wrong. I quickly apologised to her and asked her to relay the message to his colleage to pick up the call. I was also slightly guilty of losing my cool and temper again.

Even after putting down the phone, I was still simmering from the anger I felt. With all the tight deadlines, we often would want to get things done in the fastest way possible. The pressure that were mounting up from the being chased to update all the numbers quickly transformed to fustrations with the inability to enter the file he hogged on to. Was I also perceived so inconsiderate that if he were to pick up my call and tell me that he was in a meeting, I would continue to hog the phone? I felt betrayed as well because when he called me to help him update things, I would do so without thinking. Yet, when he did not require my help, he could not even pick up my call.

Nevertheless, he did get my message because within the same day, he became responsive to emails and SMSes. He also sent an email to apologise. Let's hope that it was a standalone situation which would not be repeated. I would attribute this hiccup to a mere unfamiliarity with each other's working style. Hopefully, we would continue to adjust to each other's working style as we progressed along the budget exercise.