Under the Stars

I feel guilty towards my family.

When I was young, I spent alot of time on my books so that I could get into a good school, get good grades, get a scholarship to go into university, get a good job and start supporting them. When I started working, I worked overtime, including weekends to ensure that I get a good appraisal, pick up all the necessary skills, prevent myself from being fired or retrenched so that I can earn my own keep and contribute financially to the family.

Everyday, I wake up, rush around and will not get home until they have gone into bed. Before I go to work, I have to eat my breakfast, read the papers, dress up and get out of the house in record time. Inevitably, any communication with my mum is reduced to what time I will be home today and the big news of the day (given the recent upheavals in the financial market as well as the economy). By the time I get home, I just hope to sit in front to the TV and total immerse in no-brainer programs. I am simply too lazy to talk especially after a day in office answering queries and scolding my line for not making business sense in their cases or their projections. I just want to give my vocal cords a break.

For once, I head home early and have an early dinner with my mum. After dinner, instead of rushing home to watch TV, we decide to sit under the stars and have a nice one-to-one chat. Under the stars, by the pool, with the cool breeze and watching time passes us by, we can have a heart-to-heart talk without worrying about what to do next and cutting conversation short by using monosyllabic words. Who says total relaxation can only be achieved overseas?

With this conversation, I feel that at least I am truly catching up and spending quality time with my mum. At least, this helps me absolve some of my guilt towards my family.

(Pool side view, on the sun deck chairs and under the night skies and stars)