Fear

Knowledge can make you more powerful and confident. Knowledge can also make you more fearful and wary. Ignorance is sometimes bliss. Why is this so? Simply put, once bitten, twice shy. Contrary to popular belief, the older one gets, the more fearful one gets especially one becomes increasingly aware of one's mortality.

Maybe you are already busy shaking your head or dying to rebuke me, perhaps allow me to elaborate with some anecdotes.

My boss recently came back from a holiday in Maldives. Much as she enjoyed the blue sea, the white sand and the sunny skies, she was also sharing her thoughts during a snorkeling trip. My boss used to be quite adventurous when it comes to snorkeling especially in very clean and clear waters. She used to think next to nothing about the sports as it is pretty safe even for very novice swimmers. In this trip, as she paddled her way in the waters, she was struck by how precarious the seabed terrain was. The seabed could be quite shallow here and suddenly dipped sharply just a few steps away. While she was contemplating this, she surfaced out of the water and noticed how far she was away from the main boat. Immediately, panic flashed through her mind when she realised that if she were not careful, she could have drifted too far. If she ran into any problem, it would be difficult for anyone in the snorkeling trip to extend any help. That was when she was acutely aware of her mortality and how dangerous snorkeling could be.

The first time I was on a sky ride in Sentosa - ie those benches which ran on cable and hang overhead to transport people from downhill to uphill quickly, I was pretty excited by the prospect until I sat on the bench which started to move. The free hanging legs, the height above ground, the relatively unprotected bench (except for a metal bar on our legs near our pelvis which served as the only safety measure) increased my insecurity and fear. As much as I was excited by the beautiful sceneries on such height, I was simultaneously trying to keep any physical action to the minimal. Having experienced the nervousness of being on a chair at great height, I was gripped with fear when I was confronted with the chair lift in Hokkaido. Relative to that in Sentosa, this did not even have a metal bar as a precautionary measure. Fortunately, for most part of the trip, our legs were only a few feet away from ground except for certain stretches of the journey.

If I had not gone through what I had in Sentosa, I would probably think nothing of the chairlift and may even be pretty excited about it. Having tried something before may increase our confidence about doing something again. It can also put us off something totally. Anything can cut both ways. As we grow older and acquire more experiences, sometimes we may be more wary and fearful than when we are younger, partly because we start to associate different experiences, especially the less pleasant ones and partly because we have more to lose, with our commitment to our family and dreams.