Changing Job, Losing Touch

Strangely coincidental, I have heard the same thing mentioned twice in a single day by two different persons. Both of them commented that no matter how close was the friendship between two people, it normally could not be sustained when one person left the company.

I am not disagreeing. When we are in a common environment, facing the same job, same boss and same colleagues, there are unlimited common topics. We can relate to the tasks, the happenings and the people that we talk about. When one person leaves the company, this common bond is broken. Gradually, the easy familiarity and camaraderie fade. Then the topics in the conversations are reduced to superficial regards.

It is hard to find a person who has the same frequency as you – someone who understand your jokes, someone who has the same perspectives about the red-tape of the company, someone who burns midnight oil with you to meet a drop-dead deadline. It is a pity to waste such affinity. If more efforts are invested to developing the friendship further, the easy familiarity can be rekindled. The camaraderie in work can be replaced by rallying for each other in life’s other challenges. It is not easy. One needs to arm with an open mind, a listening ear and a sincere heart.

I am a firm believer that for a friendship to grow, we cannot restrict our understanding of the other party in his / her role at work. The jokes and grumbles shared cannot be relating to work and colleagues alone. We will need to open to each other about ourselves in our capacities as a sibling, a son / daughter, a boyfriend /girlfriend, etc. We need to build common topics and memories outside office.

Of course, friendships cannot be compelled. Despite making the best efforts, if gatherings are still punctuated by awkward silences, perhaps it is time to let go. Nonetheless, it is still a pity.